Where’s the Beef?

They stole my barbecue.

They came to my house on Saturday night and they stole my barbecue.

I have attached a sign to the railings outside my house. It reads: “please bring my BBQ back.” I’m starting politely…if I receive no response I will remove the “please,” that’ll get their attention.

Who steals another person’s BBQ? What kind of human being does a thing like that? The prospect of Outside beef is the reason most of us put up with winter. And they must be local…no one spots a BBQ in another postcode and thinks “I’ll have that, it’s only a 75 minute walk home.” No, Jackson, this was an inside job. I have a newfound hate for my neighbours…they have no moral compass….if this were soviet era east berlin they’d all be in trouble.